Updated: Jun 27, 2022
In this episode (LISTEN TO THE EPISODE), Linda talks about her biggest positive change in the last 8 years - her independence as a woman. Since then Linda has grown into strong, independent, resilient person, becoming a great example for her two children of how to deal with ups and downs throughout life.
Linda is pretty happy where she is in her life now. She is a beauty therapist owning her business for the last 8 years, with this year growing even bigger than before.
Linda thinks that often when a woman becomes a wife, a partner, or a mom she loses her identity a bit without even realising it.
“We tend to try to be who we think we should be instead of being who we are, doing things that we enjoy. Its okay to be who you want to be.” – says Linda
10 Facts About Linda
(at the time of the project)
1. 45 years old.
2. Linda is a single mother of two adult children – a daughter and a son.
3. Linda is the youngest of three children.
4. Linda is a beauty therapist. She has been in this particular business, Kaydah beauty and nails, for the last eight years,
5. This year she relocated her business to a commercial property, and this is the pretty big achievement in Linda’s career.
6. Linda has grown up with a dancing background, so she’s always enjoyed every now and then getting the girls together and going to the nightclub and getting up on the podium and dancing.
7. Also, when she was younger, Linda’s dream was to be a world-famous model. She drove her mom and dad crazy with wanting to have photos done all the time of herself.
8. Linda was also a cheerleader, and doing promotional work in nightclubs
9. Biggest challenge at this age – “My biggest challenge at the moment is that I'm struggling and deciding as a mum, when is it okay to start making decisions for myself again, as my own person.”
10. Positive change with age – “My strength and independence as a woman that I've developed over the last eight years after leaving my marriage and making that pretty big decision. I'm in a pretty good place now.”
Watch Linda's VIDEO interview HERE
LISTEN TO THE EPISODE :
INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT (auto-generated) :
Hi, you are listening to My Body My Story podcast,
I would say, to be kind to yourself. And never be a person that you don't want to be. Because you feel you need to be different for some for somebody for a partner or and sometimes I think as
This is the 45 or 45 chapter where we celebrate rule breakers and role models, the women who inspire us to live life our way and to show that sensuality, beauty, soul and true essence. Here we talk about what it's like to be 45 Plus, adjusting to the changes that come with time, and will listen to the stories of our participants. If you have an interesting story to share, we would love you to participate, you can email us on firstname.lastname@example.org or visit our website, www. aleksandrawalker.com
Hi, Linda. It's nice to see you again. Today we're meeting via Zoom because we met just before the lockdown for your photoshoot. Yeah, you're the last one before this big lockdown. Not last in the project. And we didn't have chance to record our interviews. So now we are meeting a couple of months later, via zoom. I'll be interviewing you and asking all the questions. So let's start and tell us a bit about yourself.
Okay, so I'm Linda. I'm Linda Jane for that. I'm 45. I was 45. In May. I'm a mother of two. So my daughter is 20. My son is turning 17 tomorrow. And big milestone today in our family ... He's signing out of school today. So we completed year 11. And I'm signing out today. So that's a big day for us here in the in the family group. So I'm a single mum. I divorced, divorced for eight years. But I do get on very well with the kids dad. And we have a very dysfunctional, happy family. And yes, I'm the youngest of three children. My mum and dad is still happily married, well, sometimes happily, sometimes not. Together, and pretty happy with where I am in my life right now.
That's good. So what are you most passionate about?
Right now I'm most passionate about my business. So I'm a beauty therapist. I have been in this particular business for the last eight years, I was fortunate enough not to have to work while raising my children. Then when my marriage broke up, I obviously had to start working and build up my business again. So I just thought I created Kyah Beauty and Nails, which Kaydah comes from the two names of my children Kyah and Damon. And for eight years have been trying to build it up I worked mostly on my own and up until just recently always a home business. And I decided to sell my family home so I had to relocate my business to a commercial property now so this is kind of the pretty big achievement in my career. Being able to you know go out into the big world not being not just have the safety of a home business. And so we do all aspects of beauty but traditional beauty so where we do traditional facials and nails and waxing and all of that kind of thing. I've always maintained that level and lift you know all the machines and lasers and injectables and all that kind of thing to the other people that do that well and spend a lot of money getting into that.
That's nice. That's all what we love. All, we women,
yes, everyone's knocking on my door literally always say when can they come back?
Yeah, hopefully you'll be open soon and you will continue. You like it's the new milestone moving to commercial property. Like it's quite a brave step. I can say
Yeah. So we will, I will leave the link under the posts wherever we post your interview. So everyone who's interested can check you and visit you wonderful business.
So everyone knows that with age we change. But what positive changes have you experienced so far?
Okay, so I'd say my most the most positive change in particular, in the last eight years since, you know, leaving my marriage and making that, you know, pretty big decision to do that. I guess my independence as a woman is my is my greatest achievement really, going through a divorce and, you know, having young children, it some come, it comes with a lot of guilt, breaking up the family, and especially being the one who chose to leave the marriage. And so, you know, watching my children deal with that, and adapt to the new having dad and mom and two separate homes. And I guess a lot of the last eight years, it's been quite volatile, not volatile, but, you know, a lot of anger around their home life. And very difficult, you know. And so, since then, I guess my greatest, you know, my biggest I feel my achievement is that I've grown personally into a very independent, strong, independent, resilient person. And doing that, knowing that my children are watching, and especially my daughter going through, coming into her early adulthood, and being aware that she could see the hurt and the, you know, the anger and all of that, and I guess, trying to teach her by example, when she comes to that time in her life, if she comes to that time in her life, how to deal with things like that. She's seen me, both my children have seen me in relationships that I've had since their dad. And it's been hard and, you know, I've gotten involved with different people maybe financially, and it's, it's been a difficult road. Yes. So I guess. Yeah. My strength and independence that I've developed over the last eight years is I'm in a pretty good place now.
It’s a great example for them, how they can be strong in hard times.
Yeah, resilient, know how to deal with with different situations. And because you never know what's coming.
And it's interesting that your kids the same like my son is 21 this year, and he's just started his independent life. And see seems like he's surprised at how many things he has to deal with. Like before living in the with me, like I was also a single mum. And he wouldn't think about even though he saw how hard it is from time to time, but he didn't realise until he started living on his own how many things we deal with, like, rent, bills, like mental things, like this and all that stuff. And I think yeah, it helped them to go through those adulthood stuff, this adult stuff, because they seen us how we managed and they think definitely like if my mom could, then I definitely can as well.
That's right. Well, you have no choice as you become an adult you become independent and become your own person and you have no choice but to deal with the challenges that come up in life.
Yeah, hmm. Having good will helps a lot
Yeah, yeah, I you know, I really do see in my daughter now a lot of myself and which some things are not so great you know, he's stubborn personality and, but important things you know, resilience and, and strength, just just personal strength. Yeah. and it makes me really proud.
So what is the biggest challenge you're experiencing at this age?
Well, again, this sort of surrounds my, my children. My biggest challenge at the moment is that especially now my son finishing school, they're both independent with their, they have their licences and I'm struggling at the moment and deciding as a mum, how much of the reins I let go, you know, when is it okay, start making decisions for myself again, as my own person, you know, I don't have to baby these children anymore. They're always going to be a part of my life. But when is it okay to you know, if I want to move to the beach? Is that okay? thing? 15 minutes away from them. And if I want to go on a holiday, is that okay to decide where I want to go and say no, you can't come. I'm struggling with that challenge with that at the moment. And you know, I'll always be, I'll always be a mum, I'll always be their mom. But it is a very real struggle for me at the moment, especially being in the position where I'm about to sell my my home. And my daughter in lockdown, my daughter has actually moved out with the best friend's into a little a little place, adding an oak tower, which is adding in on a little farm where her dad has another property. And it just came out of the blue because they wanted to spend the lockdown together, but they couldn't come and visit each other. So they decided to move into this little apartment. And now they're talking about moving into a rental in Wollongong. And I'm like, Oh yeah, what what am I going to do? So yeah, that's, that's my biggest challenge at the moment.
It starts with identifying yourself with something else than just mother
And yes, that is as soon as you start thinking like that, the guilt that I feel is dreadful. It's such a heavy feeling of guilt. But I know I shouldn't I think that's just just being mum.
Yeah. Very, very similar. I heard very similar problem is you can say with women who have kids this age, and that suddenly to decide okay, what am I now like? I've been Mum, I had to take care all the time about them and now not that.. they don't even want it like what I'm going to do. Yeah.
So what is your greatest accomplishment?
That's easy again, my children not absolutely my greatest accomplishment. Yeah, they have him makes me emotional. One second. They just amazing. You know, gotta record that.
I will start crying now as well. Because you I understand, like, when I start talking about my son, I feel the same. When you see them grown up and you just think Wow, I did that. Like I was the mother who help them to grow up in such a beautiful humans. And it's just, yeah, it's great that you have that you feel proud about them. Not all parents are lucky enough to have kids who they're proud about and I think it is a greatest accomplishment
I knew that would happen and my daughter she said Don't cry, don't cry.
You know, not just the people that they are but the relationship they have with each other. You know, they have a great relationship. They're great mates. They're great friends. They care for each other like family. They Yeah, it's really really just so enjoyable to watch. You know, they're here and they're bantering between Whatever. Yeah, it's lovely.
What was it like this from the they've been children? Because sometimes the kids usually have rivalry, you know?
I must say, they've always been great friends. And I think that, you know, the breakdown of the family. My daughter took on that real motherly role to my son when he was because he struggled more than her. I think only my daughter struggled just as much, I think, but she held a lot inside. Whereas my son openly struggled with the whole situation. And she really took on that motherly role when I wasn't there. Yes. So he, they've never really had. They've never really thought of their occupants, but nothing, nothing like you he have some siblings.
Yeah, that's, that's great. Yeah. It feels a great achievement.
Yes. I think so.
So what advice would you give your 30 year old self?
That it's okay to be who you want to be. That when you.. you know, when you become a wife, or you become a partner, or you become a mom, which, you know, is likely to happen, at that age around a 30 year old age group younger, or maybe some older, I think we we lose our identity a little bit, without even realising we, we tend to try and conform to, you know, to, to be who we think we should be, sometimes in a relationship, we need to stay home or just because we're married, or just because we're a mom, now, we can't do things that we love to do. For example, you know, I've grown up with a dancing background, young when I was younger, so I've always enjoyed every now and then getting the girls together and going to the nightclub, and, you know, getting up on the podium and dancing and being myself being taking myself back to those teenage years. But I felt, and I don't, I don't think I don't remember by any influence, you know, don't think it was influenced by my husband at the time. I, I just felt like I shouldn't do that. But now I sit back and I see myself as though he knows he is. And I feel like I maybe missed out. I think I wasn't myself, I didn't allow myself to enjoy that part of me. Before, aside from being a mom and being a wife, and especially when the kids were younger, but I think definitely not to feel like you, you have to be somebody other than who you are. You're not doing anything wrong by I mean, I'm not talking about cheating on your husband or anything like that, that's you know, that just being yourself, just doing things that you enjoy, whether it be on your own or with your partner or get you know, have have your grandparents or have your best friends look after your children if they're young and, and go away and not be a mum for a weekend, or a week or because as long as they're, you know, if you were to leave your children with somebody, you know that whoever you leave them with it, they're safe, and they're, they'll be okay. And I really feel like I I didn't do that enough. But I feel like I'm doing that now. And I'm grateful now that I have a relationship with my children now that I can do that with. But yeah, I think never lose. Never lose sight of who you really are inside.
Yeah, not just concentrate on the being wife or mother just about your personality. We all hopefully this generation and your generation is more educated about that. And they try to leave a balance, like from what I see from younger families, they try more balance women life like being mother being wife and being yourself to having her own time or her own interest.
So yeah, I think I think we lead by example in when we when we are like that. I think as our children get older and I'm more aware of what mom and dad are doing or what mom's doing You know, we lead by example, and it's okay to not if I mean, I'm in a relationship now, which I'm very happy in, but it's okay that I might want to have a night with the girls or, or, you know, I still do the things that I like to do and not that I don't want to be with my partner. It's it's okay to be me still.