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Episode 47 – Trin | My Body. My Story PODCAST| 45 Over 45 chapter

Updated: Jun 24, 2022


LISTEN TO THE EPISODE:


In this episode, Trin talks about trauma and relationship therapy she specialises in as a psychological therapist. You will also learn 10 FACTS about Trin and what she thinks about perfect body image, positive changes and challenges of 45+ women, what is it for her to feel good and look beautiful, and what advice she would give younger women and 30-year-old self!

You can READ the interview transcript HERE

 

10 Facts About Trin

(at the time of the project)

1. 49 years old.

2. Trin was born and grew up in Australia, in Wagga Wagga country.

3. Trin lives by herself by the beach, but 100 meters away from the beach.

4. Trin’s partner lives in Melbourne. They've been together for two years. They met at the very beginning of COVID in a Tantra workshop, and they have a successful long-distance relationship.

5. Trin has been married for 15 years before that. And she left her husband in 2018. So she dived into a new relationship really wishing to be different. Trin really wanted to understand love and relationships this time.

6. Trin is a psychological therapist and she’s got her private practice. She specialises in trauma and relationships. it's somatic-based therapy.

7. Trin finished her counselling degree in 2009 and started working in drug and alcohol as a drug and alcohol counsellor. Her first job was in a drug and alcohol rehab facility with women.

8. Trin has been practising meditation for 25 years, and it's through one particular teacher, and she hasn't changed it. And through that, meditation school, Trin also learned a meditation based therapy.

9. Trin’s greatest accomplishment – “I'd definitely just say it was my 15-year journey of getting finally into private practice. That was my goal, right from 2006.”

10. Positive change with age – “I feel so much more. I feel really comfortable in myself.”


Watch Trin's VIDEO interview HERE

 

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT

(auto-generated)


Hi, you're listening to the My Body My Story podcast.


So just compassionate towards myself just really, very, I have pretty low self-esteem. And so just really having to learn compassion, I think.


This is the 45 or 45 chapter where we celebrate rule breakers and role models, the women who inspire us to live life our way and to show that sensuality, beauty, soul and true essence. Here we talk about what it's like to be 45 Plus, adjusting to the changes that come with time, and will listen to the stories of our participants. If you have an interesting story to share, we would love you to participate, you can email us on info@aleksandrawalker.com or visit our website, www. aleksandrawalker.com


Hi, Trin and Welcome to our studio and welcome to our project. And while you're sitting in the makeup chair, and Nicole is doing makeup for you, I'll be asking you a few questions. Tell us a bit about yourself.


Ah, where do I start? Well, I Well, I live by myself by the beach, but 100 metres away from the beach. Really lovely. And my partner lives in Melbourne. So we've been together for two years. And we have a I'd say a successful long distance relationship has its challenges. But he's got two teenage daughters who live down there. So we both got very independent lives. So a very, it works really, really well. So we see each other probably once a month or once every couple of weeks or something else.


My question would be How did you manage during the lockdown?


I know we were a COVID relationship we met at the very beginning of like, the very first outbreak, the very first COVID lockdown week, that's the week that we met, we had to race apart to go to our homes. And because we've been in a in a Tantra workshop together for a week. Oh, wow. I know. And that's how we met basically. And so it was everything was locking down. Everyone was buying tins of tomato and bread. And yeah, so we parted and then yeah, we were, yeah, we managed to survive. There were ways we were being able to cross the border, because Victorian New South Wales had border openings for a long time. And then there were other ways that like, because he came across as an essential worker at one point as well. So that worked. And we always found ways so we would still be able to see each other and probably the longest we've been apart would be about two, three months. But we you know, we talk every day on Skype


Oh, that's not too long, because I've been apart with my husband for nine months. Oh, wow. When it happens, so he stuck it WA. He could get out. But then he couldn't go back to work.


Oh, wow. Yeah, nine months is a lot longer that you definitely I think survives. Sorry, we survived. Oh, gosh, yeah, we've been together for a long time. Where's my Simon and I we only just met. So but we would spend long periods with together which was very interesting as well. So it was like we just met and then we'd have to we'd spend all these like, weeks together. So it was a very interesting beginning. So we've had a very interesting relationship. Yeah, because I think I've been married for 15 years before that. And I left my husband in 2018. So yeah, that was challenging. And yeah, so I met my partner Simon, two years after. And yeah, it's been beautiful. It's been a real big journey of learning and really, really understanding relationships and love. Like I think I never really got it when I was married. And I dived into a new relationship going, I really want to be different. I really want to understand love and relationships this time. So it's been a really massive, transformational journey, this particular relationship.


So what do you think changed? What was the biggest difference,


I did not want to repeat what I did in my marriage. And it was really, really, it was a really, really difficult decision to end my marriage because I was really, we loved each other, we're really good friends. And, but I was deeply unhappy inside. And I knew I had to do something drastic to change it. And we were both unhappy. And so… I'm gonna cry in a minute. But I had to do something really drastic to make to end the relationship to marry to really find happiness. And I am I can honestly say, it was a good decision just based on we were trapped in our we were locked in our emotional patterns that we didn't even know we could change. And so I was determined not to have that happen again.


So how old you were when you decided to divorce?


Ah, how old am I now? I'm 49. Now, so 46.


So, after 45 It's the change. Important decisions usually comes after 45?


Yeah, you're probably hearing all of that reach 45. And you're like, right. Well, I didn't want to die unhappy person.


I think that's where we start thinking, Okay, we don't have much time left in our prime age…


Oh, absolutely. Exactly. I had all these attractions to all these other males and all these possibilities. And I'm like, Oh, my God, I'm coming to the end of my era. I don't want to lose it. Exactly. And to be honest, I've actually discovered sexuality. Like, in my 40s, my late 40s. I can't as I said, I met my current partner in a Tantra. It was a week long Tantra festival. I've gotten gone to a few since ending my relationship because I just wanted to explore that area and just really understand sexuality. So I feel like I've just completely opened up a whole world of that I never had before. I think I lived a very conservative life before that. And so that really opened my eyes and totally changed me.


Were you born in Australia?


Yeah, I was born in Wagga Wagga country.


Is it near the Hunter Valley?


No, it's down towards Canberra way. In between Wagga and Melbourne. Actually, that's where we met. I have not met we've made up halfway. No, we will stay in Wagga Wagga, which is quite funny, which is where I was born and grew up.


And what do you do in life?


So yeah, I'm a psychological therapists.


Oh, wow.


So and I, so transformation is my thing. And so I, I walk the talk, talk, the walk, I walk the talk. And so all the things that I have, really. So this is where my passion comes in.


Yes, it is the question, what are you most passionate about?


Yeah, absolutely. Transformation, consciousness and psychology and helping others to transform. So yeah, I've been practising meditation for 25 years. And, and it's through one particular teacher, and I haven't changed it. And through that, meditation school, I also learned a meditation based therapy. And that's what sent me on my journey.


So you have your own business, your private practice. So if someone wants to find you where they can find you?


Yeah. So people come to see me through. They get referrals through GPS and under a mental health care plan. So yeah, I've been practising in this field for like 15 years, it was 15 year journey to get to finally get into my private practice.


Oh, yes, I can understand it. Yeah.


And I'm finally here. Yes. In the last two years of it all happened at once I met my new partner and I got my private practice running and in but I'd been working in lots of organisations before that. And so I specialise in trauma and relationships. Yeah, I'm because it's been such a massive journey, and I've done so much research and I've been I get into all my sessions with all my clients as well we've done relationship therapy.


So the main subject of your clients or patients come to you is about the relation.


Now most what's the most people come to see me for whatever concerns they have, which might be anxiety, depression, relationships, any mental health condition, but I see absolutely everything through a trauma lens. So I work at a level of trauma, regardless of if it was just something small, where they fell over and hurt their knee or, you know, right through two major traumas I work with and I use a particular style of therapy that's it works for every condition that comes through the door. So it's somatic based I don't know if you've heard of somatic, somatic experiencing. Its somatic means body. Traditional styles used to be just talk therapy, just talking from the head. But to really transform emotional blockages. It's really body based. And then it's using the brain, the mind as well. So you may not know you may, I might be teaching you stuff you already know


Yes, my first Masters is Psychology.


Yeah. So I've just I've Well, I was trained in all the mind based, you know, CBT, and all those styles of therapy that work with changing the mind. But I've done it. I've switched now to body based and so working with the body changes the brain. Yeah. Even though Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And so this style of therapy I'm working with, I've just up to advanced level is called somatic experiencing. And it's this. Peter Levine was the man who wrote this book called waking the tiger. Yeah, kind of well known. Yeah. So I'm trained in that. And I am just an absolute convert, I just absolutely amazed with the effects because I have to actually have the therapy myself. And so I've changed just by in the training and just having because you have to, as I said, you have to undertake it. So it's very profound. So


yeah, I think it's the hardest thing is to learn to understand your body and body signals. And it's like nobody teach us, our generation how to do it. So and I think the result of that is all that cancers and other illnesses and depression.


Yeah, absolutely. All these body, a lot of people have immune disorders because of trauma. And so when someone comes through, and they're saying, I've got immune disorders, I mean, have you experienced any trauma trauma in your life? And they Yes, absolutely. There's always been some domestic violence or sexual assault or something. So I generally work a lot with domestic violence, sexual assault, and relationships.


But I think the hardest case and where you didn't experience any visible trauma or any obvious trauma like that, and you think that everything was okay with you, and then we go start going through the therapy and you discovering that there were some events, you know, which looks not that traumatic from the first side, but they appear to be the cause of all your problems.


Absolutely. Yeah. And you'll start to see all your coping mechanisms, basically. And that and they turn out to be unhealthy coping mechanisms. So, but they worked, they worked.


So, it was your speciality from the beginning?


Trauma was always my first job. When I finished my counselling degree in 2009. was, well actually I started working in drug and alcohol is a drug and alcohol counsellor, or your ID counsellor, alcohol and other drug violence. Yeah, and I loved it. And I My first job was in a drug and alcohol rehab facility, and a residential with women. And so I became absolutely yeah, it was like, That's my 15 year journey right there is like I went right I want to work in trauma, and specialise in trauma. And because I just saw the effects.


So everyone knows that with age we change but what positive changes have you experience so far?


So far? I feel so much more. I just feel so deeply happy and myself like and I don't know if it's because of the work I've done on myself or whether it's probably both. So I feel much more. I feel really comfortable in myself and was talking to my friend yesterday and she was having some challenges and, and she said she was going through a period and she's feeling like unstable or just really like in a real transition phase. And my other friend was saying, Yeah, me too. It must be everyone. I said, No, I feel like a rock right now. I've never felt like so much like a rock ever in my life. And yeah, and I get so it's like, I feel all these changes I've made like ending my marriage. getting's finally, in my private practice, which was like these, there were like, 15-20 year projects. Yeah, I feel like I'm finally through the heart real hard, hard, like hard, hard. A lot of facing challenging things. And real sadness. And yeah, I mean, I've had depression and everything like that in my past life. So feel like yeah, I've put the hard yards in. And now I can finally say, I'm actually happy.


And what is the biggest challenge at the moment?


Oh, at the moment, believe it or not, I broke my tooth. And now gotta go and have an implant. And I think that happens when you get